My “not normal” stomach pain

The fetal position had become my go to. 

Every day after work in my early 20s I’d be curled on the couch, gripping my stomach as the stabbing pains took over my core. 

Before I could even get to the couch, I’d be at my desk sporting a glamorously sweaty forehead while I tried to work through the pain. (That wasn’t awkward in a heavily air conditioned office.)

The fetal-position phase was new, but I’d also spent my high school years trapped by nausea every day after lunch. Nah, you all go to class… I’m just gonna sit here, by myself, and act like nothing's wrong while I try not to vomit everywhere. 

I had no ‘effin idea what I was dealing with… or how amazing I could feel. 

All the doctors I went to wanted to prescribe pills to fix my symptoms. They kept using vague (to me) terms like “IBS” and “gastritis.” Looking back, I can’t believe I actually took Prilosec (a heartburn med) for months at a time. 

I didn’t even know what was causing the problem in the first place. I was just continually treating the symptoms and hoping for relief that didn’t come. 

It took moving across the country and rambling off my ridiculous list of symptoms to a new doctor to realize something was up. 

I dumped all the symptoms on her – all the nausea, painful cramping, gas, insane amount of burping, fatigue, joint pain, acne, psoriasis, debilitating anxiety and more. 

Her very straight-faced reaction: “that’s not normal.” 

Of course that wasn’t normal, duh. What the hell was I thinking living that way? 

That doc became the first person to suggest that the root of all my issues was…something I was eating. 

What!? Food? That’s crazy talk. How come no one had told me this before!?

I was so desperate for relief that didn’t involve more medication. Apparently, desperate enough that I was willing to try her daunting “elimination diet.” 

Although, at that point I probably would have eaten grass clippings for a week if she claimed it would help. 

I stared back at her with so much hope that this random doctor possessed the key to me frolicking with pain-free joy. But I still had to silence an inner voice — “Lady, I’m not sure you want to see me without my chocolate.”  

Sadly, though, chocolate was just the beginning. 

The elimination diet was an overwhelmingly thick packet of info and recipes. I diligently cleared out all the “no” foods and stocked up on apparently what I should be eating – real, whole foods. 

I guess my heavily processed, frozen veggie burgers and cottage cheese regime with what-the-hell-is-that-word ingredient bread weren’t cutting it. 

This was just the tip of the carrot – I became my own experiment. 

I was constantly tinkering with elimination diets and cleanses for weeks and often months at a time. I became a meticulous detective, trying to discover and banish the jerk ingredient that was causing all my pain. 

While the highs and lows of the process felt like a rickety carnival ride at times, I held on tight. But then something happened:

The acne started to clear up. The cramping went away. And—get this—I wasn’t burping in my husband’s face 24/7. 

Even though it had been years, it felt like all of a sudden I could hike more than three miles without limping to the car with joint pain. 

As each symptom started to finally excuse itself from my life, I felt more and more motivated. 

More willing to be an advocate for my own health. More willing to pay attention to the warning signs that something was up with the inner-workings of my body. 

First it was all the food experimentation, but I’ve since taken it farther and questioned my physical activity, experiences with nature, sleeping patterns, mental health, stress management (oof, that’s an ongoing war) – basically taken on the holistic approach that it’s all related. 

And holy cannoli, for me it really is. 

Seriously, I had no ‘effin idea what I was dealing with over a decade ago. 

But I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And that’s what brings me here.

When I was just beginning my journey for answers, I was so desperate to find support and information from a welcoming, non-judgmental place. I wanted to connect with other people struggling with similar situations and find advice. 

I’m hoping that sharing more about all that obnoxious, painful distress will somehow help someone else... 

Anyone looking for a place to feel supported, even if they are a health novice or just health curious with no idea what they’re getting into. 

These days I see it all as a journey with no real destination – my health will continue to evolve and trip me up as I age. (So many fun things to look forward to!) But I plan to keep questioning it all and keep paying attention to my body to maximize my experience on this earth. 

My body is the only one who really has the answers for what’s best for me. And sometimes it craves vodka and chocolate.